New Years Manifestations

About 5 years ago I changed my phrasing from “New Years Resolutions” to “New Years Goals”. This has served me incredibly well. It took the stigma off of “Resolutions” – popularly perceived as something you say but don’t do. This flip of terminology gave it a different meaning to be something more attainable based on personal goals that I was already working towards. It felt more achievable, and since that flip I tend to accomplish 90-95% of the goals I defined by the end of the calendar year.

I do a quick check in each quarter, and in June I do a full audit to see if I need to recalibrate or re-prioritize anything on the list to make sure each goal is still relevant and attainable. There is nothing wrong with pivoting if something you wished for is no longer serving you. Life is a continuous self-discovery and the only thing that is important is genuinely listening to yourself and overcoming any fear or anxiety that is keeping you from that level of authenticity in your outward life.

I have multiple sections, or categories, that each get their own short list of goals that I want to achieve. I try to keep it “realistic” in terms of quantity and attainability, but I am also a big believer, and proven experiencer, of Manifesting, Alchemy, and Law of Attraction. This has played a huge role in my achievements as I’ve dialed in on that over the past few years.

This year I am updating my language again, to encapsulate the Manifested life I want to achieve in the upcoming year. Some of the things I put on my list the past 2 years I considered “stretch goals”, and some of the things on my list I had no control over, like a specific credit score number that I wanted to hit. Not only did they come to fruition, they came forth even grander than I could’ve predicted. I know this was a bit of a combination from my manifestation practice, as well as a little naïveté or doubt of what I was capable of accomplishing, or perhaps, simply not dreaming big enough. So it felt more appropriate to upgrade this practice to New Years Manifestations. Huzzah! Let the magic unfold!

I started doing categories in 2018 and this has been a work in progress, but the intent was to simplify so it doesn’t become this endless unattainable list. With categories, I can pick 2-3 things per category and it isn’t overwhelming because they are usually related to the greater good of that category. In 2018 I called it Health, Hearth, Heart. If it didn’t fall under one of those categories then it wasn’t worth recording because those were the areas I wanted to focus my attention in 2018.

In 2019 I think I forgot about my categories in a way or maybe I just got really statistic focused because my list is shown as quarters: Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. I think this is where I started feeling the call to have regular check ins with myself so not to fall into the well known trap of going all in for January and then throwing it all out the window by February. I wanted to make sure I was holding myself accountable. This strategy is also great for breaking things up into bite sized chunks which can prevent overwhelm if you have a really big goal to hit by the end of the year.

I should mention, I start drafting the resolutions for the upcoming year in November and solidify in mid December. This gives me ample time to consider if it’s something I genuinely want or if it is fleeting. As my practice develops, my goals tend to compound over time so this process has been getting easier each year.

For 2020 I reverted to the category idea but I only had 2 main areas that I wanted to focus heavily on: finance and fitness. I also had a monthly travel plan that was adjunct to my goals, but did not make it onto the actual New Years Goals List because I decided to clump it into the finance section. You need money to travel right? Of course that was all squelched with the pandemic, however, it actually catapulted the financial goals I had on the list. It worked out in unexpected ways, particularly with improving my discipline around budgeting and cash flowing my adventures as opposed to going into debt for them. 2020 was also the year I became consumer debt free and I wouldn’t trade that accomplishment for anything.

In 2021 I really finessed the category concept and I may repeat this for 2022 because it still resonates with what I want to put my attention on: Finance, Wellness, Creative, Travel. I decided to make travel it’s own category because it is much more than a budget line. Travel gives me life. It is a spiritual experience for me in many ways. Immersing in other cultures and interacting with the incredible humans on this planet, especially where “old world values” still thrive and people aren’t inundated with commerce the way we are in the US, is affirming as a global citizen of this planet. To witness humanity at its finest, participate in genuine community, dance, break bread, and share laughter is everything. Simply put, I feel more human when I travel, and this is a huge relief to my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, among many, many other benefits.

Wellness will always be on my list moving forward. Historically my self care has been the last of my priorities but no longer. You can not fill from an empty well. I will give to myself first in order to better serve the world. This comes in many forms and will focus on all things mind, body, spirit. Run a race every quarter, practice meditation, optimize nutrition, keep a gratitude journal…these types of things are crucial for a life well lived.

On this blog you will see that the Finance section is under the Wellness category. This is by design. Financial wellness is a part of that larger equation. If you are stressed about money or your future, it is harder to care for your body and your mind. Financial stress can deplete everything, above and beyond what a spa day could give you. Sure, with meditation and affirmations you can rise above but that is easier said than done. Coming from the deep, dark poverty that I was raised in I can say first hand it is hard to even consider mediation when you are straining to put food on the table or keep shelter over your head. There is a difference between thriving and surviving, and surviving doesn’t leave room for much else. The pursuit of financial independence is a wellness practice as much as a self preservation practice. Since it is more tactile and nuanced, however, I give it its own category for a New Years reset.

Whether you call it New Years Resolutions, Goals, or Manifestations, it is a great practice for personal growth. If you miss and it’s still important you can try again. In 2015 I was in burnout, I was scatter brained, and I felt lost. I made a resolution for 2016 to “Simplify My Life”. That was it. That was my only resolution that year. I dove all in and you know what I found out? Things had gotten pretty complicated. In order to actually simplify my life, I had alot of things to close out and re-prioritize. I made the same resolution for 2 more years before I felt like I had accomplished my goal. And I have no shame in my time frame. Persistence is the key. It’s not about checking something off a list, it’s about growth. Pure and simple.

I hope seeing my process and structure is helpful and gives renewed hope that New Years Resolutions do not need to be flighty or fantastic. It’s just an aid for designing your life to be exactly as you wish it to be. I’ll be digging into my 2022 Manifestations soon so stay tuned. What are some resolutions, goals, manifestations you want to energize next year?

YES, YOU

Wherever you are on your journey

even if it is day 1

or just starting to take your first step

whatever your journey entails

you are not too late

you are not too far behind

you are not inferior

you are deserving

you are amazing

you are love

you are a force

you can do anything

EARTH DELIGHTS

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.

You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

Yesterday is but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream.

I have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers.

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

Work is love made visible.

If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.

Khalil Gibran

Morning Movement

Morning Run by The Bay

Manifesting this life to be the life of my dreams! Everyday you have the opportunity to begin anew. What are your dreams, your goals, deepest desires?

I never accepted my chronic illness. I’m not a proponent of prescription medicine, but more than that, I missed myself. The energy and clarity I had before this shift. I decided to do whatever I needed to do to regain my health.

Movement has helped more than anything. I’m not naturally motivated but I know my “Why”. I want to enjoy my body while I have it, while I can. I think about what would happen if I lost a limb, or my sight, or something worse than I’ve already lost? Experiencing brain fog and crippling fatigue was already uncomfortable enough; I don’t want it to go any further. I was sick of feeling pain and discomfort all day every single day.

Not only was it not getting better, it was getting worse, and it could be far more drastic if I were in an accident or just allowed myself to continue to age in a lazy pattern.

So I decided movement is the only way out. I can eat healthy all day but without pairing movement the benefits were limiting. So now I run for my life. I spin for my life. I dance for my life.

I’ve added a run or bike ride everyday after my kinrgy workout. My brain fog is gone. I have more energy than I’ve had in 5 years. I always feel better after sweating, guaranteed.

Let me assure you I am an amateur! I run slow. I take my time. I stop and take pics or when my dog has to pee. I gave up on my stats. I run or bike for 30 minutes a day right after Kinrgy workout. That’s what my schedule allows and following my schedule has made it more accessible. You don’t have to be a pro athlete to get the benefits of moving your body. You just need to do something everyday.

I started with 5 minutes. When I was super unmotivated I said ok just go for 5 minutes then you can go home. 95% of the time I felt good after 5 minutes, better than when I started. So I’d say ok another 5 minutes, and then another, just going with what felt good. It’s a natural progression. I’m not racing. I’m enjoying the wonders of my body’s progression. The body can do more than the mind allows. So you have to trick your mind until it learns the rewards.

This is your life and you deserve to feel good. You deserve to feel great. The choice is yours.

I love you. I believe in you. You got this!

CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY

Remember, you are the designer of your life, not the manager.

You, and only you, have the power to make a change.

What is more frightening, venturing into the unknown, or living the rest of your entire life unhappy and unsatisfied, always wondering “what if”?

Satisfaction is alive and well on the other side of fear.

Be brave. I believe in you.

INTERNATIONAL DEBUT: DLUX TATER BOWL

Lock me in a kitchen for a year and some interesting choices are bound to be made….

Introducing the DLUX TATER BOWL!

GIRL. Lemme just tell you. This bowl was 2 servings but I licked the damn thing clean. SUPÈRYUMZ

Vegan. Whole30. Paleo. Grain Free. Gluten Free. Dairy Free. Organic. #allthethings

9 times out of 10 I’m eating a #YAM but once in a while girlfriend needs a white ass potato, mmkay?

Bake the baby in the #instapot. If you don’t have this GET IT NOW. My #1 minimalist friendly kitchen tool.

TBH, #1 is tied between IP, Immersion Blender, + Juicer, but you get what I’m laying down, right? I’m a #minimalist; I only have 3 tools; they are all #1.

While the #tater is baking, sauté: onion, garlic, bell pepper, mushrooms, broccoli. Put big ole tater in a bowl a top with #nutritionalyeast, olive oil, salt + peppa. Then load on the sautéed veggies and top with #sauerkraut, #olives, & #avocado. Add Olive Oil Drizzle.

Yes. I said olives. OLIVES ON EVERYTHING.

Don’t challenge me. It’s dope. #saltfatacidheat

All of this from #PlanetEarth. How amazing is that?

Next, pretend you will save half for lunch tomorrow + devour every delicious morsel.

YW. 💕, DLUX

Turning A Should Into A Must

This was me at 6am on the first day of turning a “should” into a “must”.

It was the day after attending Tony Robbins Virtual Unleash The Power Within. I have known for some time that the key to unlocking my next level of potential was in my body. To once and for all cure the chronic illness I’ve been battling for 5 years, to get my full energy back, to literally unleash the power within.

The thing was, I was having the damndest time following through, despite knowing this was the answer, this was crucial, this was non-negotiable. I am so disciplined and structured in just about every other aspect of my life – my house is clean and organized (and delightful!), I have a succesful Real Estate side hustle, I am crushing it in my career, I have deeper, more sincere relationships than ever, my nutrition has become outstanding… but exercise – I was SO inconsistent.

Why? I always feel WAY better afterwards. My symptoms improve or vanish when I would have a regular spell of exercise. Yet, I always ended up working through lunch instead of going for a jog. At the end of the day I’d be too tired to workout and I wanted some downtime after busting my hump all day. And mornings? Fuhgettaboutit. That was when my thyroid symptoms were the worst. No matter how good my intentions, I would hit the snooze button over and over again while my brain fog and inflammation sunk me deeper into total of loss of will power for physical exertion.

So it is remarkable and I couldn’t be more thrilled that today is my 2 week anniversary of finally succeeding in this shift! Everyday at 6am I do a @kinrgy workout. I LOVE this workout. It is so much more than a workout. They guide us through the elements in dance and expression and it feels so good! Plus their guides are incredible – I LOVE Rebeka’s energy. She reminds me of myself pre-trauma, and inspires me to keep working on getting back to that effervescent part of myself. And Ulato brings big Jamaican energy and brilliantly quotes historic black leaders and poets that take this movement and connection to a whole new level that I honor so much and fuels me to keep fighting for love and equality. Christine is just pure light and makes me feel so playful, genuine, and connected. I mean, I could go on about every single one of them – I love them so much!

So what changed? I turned a should into a must. Tony Robbins and his crew gave us so many tangible tools to go deep and find our why. It was so much more than words though. Through a series of exercises (written, spoken, and physical), and alot of intentional physiological changes and upgrades, I was able to unlock blocks that I was holding in my body and in my psyche that I thought I had cleared years ago. These blocks were holding me back BIG TIME and I had NO idea.

By the end of UPW I was magically a morning person. Well, maybe it wasn’t simply magic. I found my why, I created genuine intention, and I unleashed the power within. I feel literally unstoppable! Not only do I now workout daily at 6am, I follow it with a Priming meditation, and a COLD shower to tap into the Wim Hof method. By 7am I’ve done all of this, drank a pint of lemon water, and walked the dog. My mornings have never been like this before. Not only has my morning routine benefitted, but I have much more energy all day, my brain fog has lifted, joint pain is GONE, and I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I was already pretty happy because I have deep philosophies towards that way of being, but now I have this innate joy vibrating through my body in a way that hasn’t happened since before the tragedies of 2004.

Yep, that was me at 6am on Day 1. Bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to take on a new day, a new life!

THANK YOU Tony Robbins Joseph McClendon Kinrgy Julianne Hough Karissa Kouchis Egoscue Team Tony
Master Co

LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Personally I have been extremely successful at being single on Valentine’s Day. 😉 Which is perfectly fine because I definitely don’t believe you need a partner to celebrate LOVE. Love is my religion and I’ll celebrate its many forms any day of the week! If you are flying solo this year, here are a few ways you can celebrate love and not feel left out of this holiday.

Self Love and Self Care are obvs at the top of this list. This is something so many of us struggle with on a regular basis, so if that’s you, give yourself permission to be all about yourself today. While baths and candles are a great way to relax and take care of yourself, they aren’t the only things you can do (but do it if you can!). I know it can be hard to find time for self when career, family, or community commitments are constantly calling our attention. Try a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation affirming your prowess. 🧘‍♂️ I often like to do meditations like this as an active / moving meditation because I am notoriously bad at sitting still, so going for a walk and having this in my earbuds while I observe the amazing world around me can be very affirming. You deserve this. ❤️
5-Minute Self Love Meditation
Empowerment Affirmations Rampage

Love some animals! Take a few minutes and just sit on the floor with your pet(s). They will love receiving affection by you and playing with you. The important thing here is to be fully present in this moment and try to remove distractions like a TV running in the background or scrolling your phone. Have a very present exchange with your pets and bask in that unconditional love. Don’t have a pet? Visit a dog park and spend some time with your neighbor’s pets. This has become a favorite weekend activity for my dog and I, and Venus loves saying hi to everyone there, whether they have their own pets or not!

Give. One of the quickest ways that I get myself out of a slump is by giving back to the community. Lately I have taken to making gift bags with a few items like lip balm, a scarf, dry shampoo, and tampons, and giving them out to homeless women I see. You can also make donations or volunteer your time to a local organization that moves you. Here are a few online resources to help you find dozens of organizations that could use your help:
Alive!
ACCP
The Good Trade

Set up a Zoom brunch or a Happy Hour with your besties from every time zone. This year I am bringing together a bunch of my gal pals for some virtual reverie and I’m excited not only to spend time with them, but to have the opportunity to introduce some of my friends from different cities who otherwise might never have had a chance to meet. There’s always a bright side if you look in that direction. ✨

You ARE love. We ARE love. Feel your own purity through the medium of love, and take time to genuinely love yourself and spread love to everyone you see today, and every day. Celebrate glorious love, and ride that vibe into the sunset. Also, eat chocolate, everyone needs some chocolate. 🍫

THE DAILY HAPPY

People often ask me how I stay so positive in tough times. How could I begin to abbreviate what I’ve transformed? It goes deep yo.

The truth is I’ve been through more “Big T” traumas than you can count on one hand and it’s for this exact reason that I work hard to stay positive. Without getting into too much detail I’ll say this, there were two main catapults that have landed me at this vantage point. The first was an abusive and unstable childhood, to put it lightly. Once I escaped that prison I knew resolutely what I did NOT want to be, so I had alot of incentive to follow my dreams and never give up. Just as I was getting into the groove of being a badass and owning my life, as if I hadn’t been through enough already, my rebirth into positivity was almost taken away from me again when I was assaulted a mere 3 weeks after my little brother’s suicide. As hard as it was, I knew that if I stayed down for too long it would be letting my rapist win. From that day forward I made a decision to “refuse to be a victim”. It didn’t happen overnight, but the commitment was resolute.

Refusing to be a victim has taken years of practice, of breakdowns, of therapy, of giving up, of getting back up again. At the end of the day we all need reminders; this is a choice. Your attitude is a choice. Your perspective is a choice. Yes, absolutely honor the hurt, acknowledge the pain, (denial is not healthy), but you can’t wallow. It’s too hard to climb out of that downward spiral once it gains traction. So I speak a different truth into existence. I use mantras to lift me up. And I’ll be damned, it works. So much so that I just want to shout it to the world : “heyyyyyy – it’s not easy but it works! Don’t give up!”

Print the image of this mantra out and speak a new / improved loving reality for yourself. Speak it in a meditation, in the mirror, on a walk, hiding in the bathroom at work – whatever works for you. Practice makes perfect, and it does get easier. You just gotta believe. 💫

luv, dlux

ps for a sliding scale donation of $3 – $20 I can update the graphic to be your portrait or an image of your choice. To request, use the contact page and reference “THE DAILY HAPPY”.

~ Never Give Up ~