Bar Exchange

I bought Gourmands from Tuff Tiff and was planning to move into a room in the back, a converted storage area that was shotgun style and black. There were long shelves all along the sides but I was excited to remodel it. Then I would fill the Kay street house with tenants but John – who was merged with Andrew – was upset. He eventually agreed but only if we got less roommates. The bartenders were slacking off and it was pure pandemonium. Things had slipped for a while and they didn’t know it had been purchased. It was a total free for all but I knew all the bartenders and they were excited that I was going to be helping out.

Tony had 2 white widows growing out of his back that turned into trees. They were pretty (!) but had to be removed. Mary knew the complicated terms to identify them and how they were different. It was fascinating.

There was a contest/meeting for financials. It was a 30 day challenge like whole30 but with money. Tony did really well and everyone had to give a speech. I missed his speech (and everyone loved it a lot!) because I was gagging in the other room. I had been drinking a can of coke and I poured it into a glass. It was full of flies but I had already drank half of it before I realized and it made me puke. When I went back into the awards ceremony, Tony had just finished his speech and another participant gave a gift to the coordinator, which was a large set of gorgeous antique silverware. The guy was so impressed that he gave Tony a set as well. Then he asked if anyone else wanted to buy a set for $700 and everyone did because it was an incredible deal.

Sueño

At a moment’s notice, I was going to what appeared to be Spain with a friend and her family. It felt more like South America but geographically it was in Europe.

The first night I was super tired so I went to sleep early. The next day it took a while to find each other but I found her at a bar restaurant and we had a drink. I felt like I needed a shower and said I’d meet her later. We had to catch a bus to another town too. After the shower, I decided to go on the bus ride early and meet them in the next town in a few hours because I didn’t want to go back to the bar.

The bus was loud and crowded. It was a 3+ hour ride. After 2 hours I was restless and regretting not taking the bus ride with them. What was I going to do while I waited? Just then we were coming upon a small town which I had heard of, and I decided I would get out and explore. Then I could get back on the next bus to the final destination and our timing would be aligned. All the while I had been texting her about what I was up to so we could meet in the evening.

The town was tiny. When I first got off the bus, I noticed a building where all the commuters were coming from and assumed it was the station. I had immediately gone over to inquire about the next bus towards Madrid but at the moment I crossed the street they closed the large iron gate and it was revealed that it was more of a church. I noted the streets and location to return for the next departure and presumed it was more of a bus stop than a station since it was such a tiny town.

Coincidentally, though we appear to be in Spain, this Madrid seemed more like the Madrid in the corridor between Albuquerque and Santa Fe, New Mexico. We were in the boonies. This was a landmark, not a destination. Further, our intention was to go to an even tinier town near this parallel Madrid.

I headed towards a cafe for an espresso. When I arrived, a beautiful wolf pup of about 6 months old befriended me. She listened well and wouldn’t leave my side. After she made it clear that she was adopting me, we walked the streets together.

I ran into 3 acquaintances, who happened to be children. I explained that it was time for me to get started towards Madrid to meet my friends. I told them I had only learned Spanish for 1 week and asked for help translating to find the bus as the stop where I arrived didn’t seem to be active any longer. We found a restaurant and went inside but there wasn’t anyone around so we wandered the halls until we ended up passing through a very busy kitchen. No one seemed to mind this. We came out the other side to a tiny bar.

The 2 older girl children were chatting and doing their own thing, but the younger boy stayed with me (and my new wolf / dog Venus Vega). I was stumbling all over my words trying to speak Spanish. It came out blended where some words were Portuguese or French. Before I even began fumbling over the language, it was clear that the waitresses had zero interest in helping me. They were already grumpy and it was cramped and I was just in the way. At this point it was getting late and I was feeling desperate. I knew the busses would be stopping for the night and I would miss my friend and her family for the second night in a row. This was definitely not what I wanted.

The young boy spoke fluent Spanish but he stayed mute after stating, “I don’t want to deal with them.” I couldn’t understand this. He saw me struggling to deal with them and getting nowhere yet he stood there not helping. Why was he even staying?? He suddenly seemed very juvenile but instead of stomping his feet and throwing a tantrum he was simply being a plain old jerk. At this moment I also realized that none of my texts had gone through to my friend, rendering me AWOL. I could only imagine what she and her family were thinking.

A woman sitting nearby started making small talk with me. She was from France and was sad that I didn’t speak French. I tried to explain how important it was for me to remember what little Spanish I knew during this stressful moment. We both wanted to understand each other but couldn’t.

Finally, suddenly, out of thin air, the words came rushing to the forefront of my mind and I exclaimed, “Necessito ir a l’autobus a Madrid!” The entire staff looked at me in disbelief. How did she know these words? Time stood absolutely still. I waited for someone to tell me the answer.

Nap Tri

My nap was amazing! I feel rested but I dreamt that I was running a triathlon while I was sleeping, except I had to finish the last mile in 2 laps, but I stopped to do a craft show first and had put on jeans. When the time came to run the last mile in 2 laps, I didn’t feel like changing my clothes and doing it anymore! I woke up before I could see if I actually finished or not!

Time Warp Conditions

Pete was in the corner eating all of my Nutella.   

3 of us laying in corner to regroup but the crowd came in.

They strangely crowded the tiny stage even though the large hall was vacant.

Went to the same place in NYC where the GPS always freaks out, probably because of the time warp, the altitude too high, the snow, the train coming, too many people. I’ve been there before so I knew when I started walking a certain direction that it would lead to empty dark confusing woods and it’s really hard to get out so I stopped, turned around, and thought about how I could get help. When I turned around there was a little boy too close and out of control with his actions and he spun into something on my hip that made a smacking sound against something on him. Metal? He started to cry and I asked if he was ok but they were very absorbed with themselves and didn’t hear me.

Manifestation Harvesting

I was practicing my manifestation skills by looking in a magazine and making the items appear almost immediately. I didn’t do it on purpose at first. I saw a beautiful jacket and I thought “I want that. I wish I could see it in person so I could decide if I want to buy it”. Then I looked up and a woman walking by was wearing it even though it was a super rare and unique item. I knew immediately my manifesting skills were getting stronger so I decided to practice then and there. I flipped through the pages and would see an item I like and look up and sure enough someone walked by with it, the exact colors and everything. I kept getting faster until the finale was a super unique organic shirt that was short and flowy with a back that opened towards the bottom, brown with a bone white border and it appeared floating on a hanger right next to me. I felt like I just won a race. Now there was no question that I was indeed manifesting these things and I knew I could manifest anything if I merely decided and believed.

6.28.16

I was living with Ricky. I moved but then we met the owner and it was available again (or still). Ricky said the rent was $1800 but he could get the landlord to pay us that amount since he hadn’t rented it yet, so we’d break even. He wanted to keep the money himself and kept assuring me that I would get free groceries instead.  It was in New York, and my new place was on the outskirts of the city. I loved the location and was excited. The hotel part – huge steps I was running up and down. Getting Cider, bartenders were really nice. I left $7 on the counter that disappeared. It seemed like a customer picked it up. I had to run up and down the giant steps to go get more money to replace it. I also ordered a small personal pizza, but when I came back from getting the money the bartender was struggling to figure out how to put the pizza into a sandwich. The 2 bartenders and I all thought the men description was just for a pizza but he explained that the description was outdated and this was the new menu item. Everyone was pretty confused and we just watched as he struggled to make the pizza sandwich.

Party Time

Carl and Macy were planning to move in with me. It was a week before moving day and Macy came over and said “I mean, we aren’t formally committed right? This just isn’t going to work”. There was a party next door the night before and there was one cigarette butt in a trash can that had gotten water in it from the rain. I knew those parties would be happen more than once a month, it was always said to be once a month, and that one was a little rowdier than usual because there was a biker gang in town and they brought a pool hall/bowling alley with them. I was going to play one round of something, but my partner didn’t show up. Then a group of 8 elderly people came by and tried to take over before my friend arrived. I went to the biker gang, that we were supposed to play against to tell them that my partner was missing and they offered to pair me up with one of their people even though we wouldn’t technically be against each other anymore. They were really nice, just had brutal appearances, and we ended up having a blast. I stayed up way later than expected and had a bit of a hangover by the time Carl and Macy arrived. The pool hall/bowling alley and everyone was gone and it was back to be a normal apartment complex but since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, Macy just assumed I partied all the time and would not consider it, even though it had been 3 weeks since they agreed and Carl still wanted to. I knew it was probably for the best and that I could get another roommate easily since the location was so good.

Shapeshifter

I met a bird that could talk. She was an ancient soul.

When I asked how she spoke English she said I was actually understanding her language.

She could also shiftshape.

I walked my dog home – he kept crying and told me he was floating out in the middle of the universe. He was lost floating in space, even though his body was here with me.

The paint on the walls looked solid in dim light, but messy camo in bright light.

It think when the bird crosses into my realm, it spins the dog out and that’s why he was floating in the universe.

I Had to hold him in my lap with my arms wrapped all around him to keep him still in the universe.

He was a combo of Mars and Jupiter, but bigger.

2.12.17

I adopted a kid. I went through an adoption agency and hadn’t even met him in person. They gave me 10 days before he arrived to decide if I was sure, but the ten days went by in a flash and the night before they were due to come over I realized it was probably too late to change my mind. My heart was racing with stress, because I realized I was unfit for the task. I wanted to help a child in need, but I knew my schedule was so all over the place that I wouldn’t even be able to get him to school on time most days. And what if I needed to go out of town for an extended period? I sat on the brink, riddled with fear, waiting to meet my teenage son.

Biz Trip

I went on another business trip and plumb forgot my suitcase. I didn’t realize until I was deboarding the plane and remembered that I had not ever placed my suitcase overhead. My BFF was changing planes there and she was perplexed and acted strange and judgy to me about it as she was liked right by to her next destination. I had to divide the clothes on my back into 4 outfits to make it through my next two back to back training seminars. 

When I checked into the hotel, bagless, I realized that not only did I forget my suitcase, but it was left in the last hotel, at least 4 days prior and the chances of recovery were lost. I started counting the items in the suitcase and cost that was adding up was getting extremely high and difficult to replace all at once. 

I went to take a shower to reset but there were 3 women who were bullying in there. I tried to get out quickly. 

8.7.16

I kind-of had a boyfriend but I wasn’t totally sure if it was committed. I was being pretty flaky about the whole thing, not insecure, just still feeling single as I had been for so long.

I ran into another guy that I was meeting for some casual business purposes. He was walking with 2 brown girls. The girls didn’t pay me much mind at first. I was a rare white girl in this ethnic neighborhood so they were just feeling me out. As a humanist and civil rights activist I understood the need for this assessment and took no offense. I made light talk to show I was not a threat nor had any malicious intentions towards them. I was being myself, cracking some jokes and finding common ground, so they soon accepted me and started laughing and loosening up. I was grateful to get to know them more; everyone was pretty funny.

I then moved onto some other location. At some point I was hanging out with another guy and we had chemistry but I wasn’t sure about it so I left like I was going to the bathroom but never came back. I think I meant to come back, maybe, but, again, just following my compass.

Now a third man. This time we really hit off on a deep level. We were having a wonderful time talking about everything under the sun and then we started fooling around. It caught me off guard. We were falling deeply in love. I found out he was much older than he looked. He was worried about that but I thought he was beautiful and we were the same age mentally and maturely. He was financially stable, he was reasonable, sweet, funny. He just seemed perfect. He felt like *my guy*.  In the midst of our tender moment I realized that I was already in a sort-of relationship, and that I had kissed someone else entirely earlier and walked out on him. I suppose I disappeared on both men earlier. I became distraught, thoroughly confused. I ran out, my heart torn in a million pieces, unable to identify the difference between true love and obligation.

8.29.16

Krissy told me she was in town briefly – which town I’m not sure, but I was there too. I met up with her at a diner with a guy named “Ohio”, who was also from Vermont. I met him when I was originally there, and remembered him fondly, but I couldn’t remember his name until she reminded me.

She was distracted, so at first it was hard to catch up – she kept changing topics. But soon it was almost 3 o’clock and she had an appointment so I drove with her through the windy region that was swathed in red dirt dunes. It was a gorgeous drive, like Utah a bit but the landscape was not tall. Perhaps it was more like Mars. We got to the spot where she was going to performing her act – “falling into trash”. I didn’t know what that meant exactly but they were dropping heaps of trash from a helicopter and she was laughing and twirling as it fell around her. She told me she was ready to close the chapter of the past 2 years. Even though she was happy, she was exhausted. She didn’t say what was next. 

My flight was coming up so we had to part ways. I went on my way and “woke up” from the “dream” about seeing Krissy to go do my travels of the day. During this supposed awakened state I found a brochure for a small environmental group that was trying to re-route trash from the landfill. When you opened it, accordion style, there were about a dozen silhouettes of people decorated with shapes that were objects and costumes made from recycled garbage. I glanced through until I recognized her silhouette. I didn’t realize she had been doing this for a cause since it was related to her circus routine. I thought it was just a general performance piece at the time. I never saw the video that they recorded  that day, but it was cool to see this promo brochure and I was proud of her for helping with an important cause.  I was also amazed because I thought I had dreamt the meeting with Krissy and was now awake with this brochure, which meant that I found out about all this in a dream state and it was actually true. So when I woke up for the second time, but the first real time, I was surprised to discover that I had been asleep the whole time. Ha. Well it was good to see you, Krissy. 

Heaps

Every time I finished a load of laundry, another one appeared in the washer, just finishing. I would pile it into the drier and go to put  dryer sheet in but the box would be empty. Put the laundry in the dryer, look for dryer sheet, missing, exasperated each time as if it were a completely new experience, over and over again. I desperately wanted to leave the laundry room but the cycle was endless.

 

2.11.16

I almost missed the trolley. I was saying goodbye to 2 friends and I didn’t want to leave them. My luggage kept getting moved around. I had a large suitcase, my big black tote with the rainbow handles which was heavy and bulky, and another big backpack. It was hard to carry them all at once. It was impractical to have so much luggage. The first trolley stop was where we started our goodbyes but I realized my luggage was in a building closer to the next stop, so we ran across the city. I finally gathered everything and and we waited for the trolley but we had to stand in this tiny little area that was squeezed against a big wall and I was worried that we were going to get hit/smothered by the trolley because we barely fit in the space, especially with all of my luggage. When the trolley came I realized I didn’t have a token and exclaimed it out loud. A big and gentle woman at a picnic table slid 2 tokens toward me, one large, one small. I tried to decline but she insisted. I tried to take just one but she said it was after 11 o’clock, suggesting the fare increases at certain times. I finally started to climb on the trolley after several goodbyes and the conductor explained that the back section was closed, again because of the time, but the front section where we were allowed was having a technical issue because it kept spinning. This section was like a carousel. Normally they would only rotate if somebody was trying to get off or after people were seated and they needed to access other seats. But now it was stuck rotating pretty quickly and it was a challenge to get onto the spinning seats and try to get all of my luggage up there. I managed to get my large suitcase and the big black bag there but the tote with the rainbow handles was missing. I told the conductor that thought I had it but I left it inside and I’d be right back. She shrugged disapprovingly but allowed me to go so I started running because the building which used to be right there was now down the street through an alleyway with a series of curves and a dirt road with muddy sections and a lot of obstacles for me to tackle. I ran really fast and wondered if I had overlooked the tote, if it was still back by the picnic table or on the trolley all along.  I finally found it and started running back. I could see the trolley in my sights, and the lady at the picnic table. As I ran closer, I could feel the pressure of the trolley about to leave the station. I’m not sure if I even ever made it because that’s when I woke up. 

2.8.16

I was taking my houseboat to overnight camp.  Somewhere in the middle of the 2nd day of the journey, the first half began to sink. I was already out in the open with nowhere to go so I just took my chances to see how far I’d get. I was stunned to wake up in front of the place I was going. I went inside a bunk but the counselor, Jodi P., ignored me while she talked seriously to her kids. She finally recognized me and I asked if I could use the bathroom and get help with the boat. She said no she was too busy. I went back to the boat, downtrodden, and a huge current had come and swept it away. Mars was inside and I was frantic to save him but I didn’t know where the boat went. Rich W. jumped from the bank of the river, said it probably went to the rocks. We swam that direction to no avail. There was a set of bunkhouses in the way so I had to get back on the land to run to the next section of water that he might be in. Rich said he had to leave. I looked at him imploringly and started running up the hill to the next body of water I could get in. I knew the boat was somewhere along the perimeter, it was just very wide and I didn’t know my way around. Still I was determined to figure it out. I ran up the hill. Rich followed. 

1.24.16

I’m not sure of the order of things but I took a taxi ride and left a bunch of change on the roof. In another segment there was a minute girl with a broken leg. I think she morphed from some animal. Then when I was randomly standing with Matt with my bicycle for a time after the taxi ride, she needed help getting somewhere and I was the only option. We had to put her on my piggyback and ride on my bike. Before that though the other guy was really excited to meet her for some reason, like she was some kind of magical being. He was immediately “in” with her, in a non-romantic way, and praised her profusely. That made her question me because I didn’t give her the same praises. She said “you’re not like them. I can tell”. It was stern and cold and I thought she was disappointed and disapproving of me. I know she was a guide, a force, and a her judgment could send me to doom. I tried to assure her that I was a good heart. She thought I didn’t have a clean soul so I let her feel my heart and my neck with her palm to get my energy reading which was a little bit not great at the moment because something weird happened with the workday being too long or I don’t really know why, but I was tired and I was a little bit stressed out and I said “no it’s just been a long day. I’m OK I promise.” Then we went to leave and I had to work hard to get her on my back with the broken leg even though she was really small. She kept landing on the wrong part of my back and I needed her to go higher.  I said, “It’s because I’m sure they need you to be a pirate. Go around my waist”. She kept throwing her legs below my hips and sliding lower. I finally got on the bike. I went to get on the bicycle with her on it. The mounting was going to be tricky and the cabdriver came back. My money was still on the top of the roof except this time he said that I needed to get set up on a waiting list and then he would come back. So I started to do that and then another driver showed up and I explained to him what he was doing, that he kept coming back for gas but wouldn’t take the passengers. I knew the passengers inside because they were the same passengers that were inside and got dropped off last time I had taken a taxi ride. At some point I was also a snake. I was in a room and a man had a snake that he trained but it was still pretty wild. He kept it in the little foyer next to me while he prepared it for whatever he was about to do, and then he had to let the snake go until the snake tipped. When it would stand straight up he sprayed some kind of solution on it with a spray bottle. The snake saw me peeking around the corner at him. He was fine for a while, as long as I was very still and slow, but then I was sitting on a bed or a couch behind the door and I saw that he had noticed me too much so I tried to hide my leg and I shifted a little bit so that he couldn’t see me anymore. That made him upset and he came into the room where I was and started moving like he was going to bite me. I kept saying “take him take him away before he bites me get him get him away from me”. I was really really scared. I was trying to keep my heart rate low like when I was swimming with the shark but it was really hard. Then the snake keeper told me that he’d already bitten someone. That did happen with the man in front of me but I never saw it. He said that the snake chose to bite that other person instead of me. He was trying to show me that he wasn’t going to bite me but I couldn’t believe it.

1.22.16

I went to a pizza shop and ordered a pizza. It took 45 minutes. I accidentally got in the car with the driver who was taking a group home. They ended up at a party. The driver went to get something from his house. He was Czech and I liked him a lot. When he got there the electricity was shut off and this made him fall asleep. 

Finally was able to get him on the phone but we were gone for an hour or 2 and I was very upset. I hadn’t eaten and I left my wallet on the table at the restaurant when I went to the counter to see if they put my order in. I called and asked them to hold it until I got back but I didn’t know if they ever retrieved it from the table before someone else got it. When we finally returned I had no patience left. The restaurant was almost closed and the staff had changed over. The woman working refused to get the manager and said they would have to charge me for that. After asking several times and her continuing to ignore me I shouted very loudly to the air “I need a manager!”  One came and I tried to begin the story. I said, “I was here earlier and I ordered a pizza” she said “si, cons Dana”. Yes, I continued with getting stuck with the driver for 2 hours and all the things that happened. I said I want my wallet, I want my pizza, and I want it on the house. I didn’t want to get the driver in trouble. I still liked him.

Kelly A was also in my dream. I confronted her about blocking me on Facebook. I kept trying to soften her. It was the first time I saw her give a little. It made me hopeful.