Design Your Life
If there were no limitations, how would you design your life?
This is a question only YOU can truly answer, and with all of the pressures of modern life, not everyone is genuinely honest with themselves about what they truly want. People can have a complex relationship with their hopes and dreams, and it can vary from person to person. Some people may be very honest with themselves, while others may struggle to be fully honest with themselves for a variety of reasons such as fear of failure, social expectations, lack of self awareness, or difficulty with introspection. Any one of these can make it challenging to identify and articulate one’s deepest desires.
It’s essential to be aware of these potential barriers and work to overcome them to gain a better understanding of what we truly want in life. Once you break past your own barriers, you can start to forge a path that is fully aligned with making your dreams a reality. Below are a few ideas to help you start brainstorming!
🎨 Pursue your passions! Without any limitations, many people would devote their time and energy to pursuing their passions, whether it be art, music, sports, or any other activity that brings them joy and fulfillment.
🗺 Travel the world! If there were no limits, you might choose to explore the world, visit exotic locations, experience different cultures, and immerse themselves in new experiences.
👯♀️ Build meaningful relationships! Focus on building and maintaining meaningful relationships with friends and family, as well as seeking out new connections with people who share similar interests and values.
🧚🏾♂️ Focus on personal growth: In the absence of limitations, you might choose to devote your time and energy to personal growth, whether it be through education, self-reflection, or other forms of self-improvement.
🏽 Make a positive impact: Many people might use their unlimited resources to make a positive impact on the world, whether it be through philanthropy, activism, or other forms of social or environmental change.
Of course, these are just a few examples of how people might choose to design their lives without any limits. The possibilities are truly endless. Are you ready and willing to dig deep and allow yourself to discover how you would design YOUR life without limitations?
Listen, life’s challenges and limitations are VERY real, and can feel overwhelming at times, however, it’s essential to remember that not all limitations are insurmountable. By recognizing and accepting our limitations, we can work to overcome them and STILL achieve our dreams. Here are some tips to help work through life limitations to live a life of your dreams!
🥅 Identify your goals: Begin by identifying what you truly want in life. This can involve setting specific and achievable goals that align with your values and interests.
⚠️ Prioritize: Once you have identified your goals, prioritize them based on what is most important to you. This can help you focus your time and energy on the things that matter most.
📝 Plan and Take Action: Create a plan for achieving your goals, breaking them down into smaller, more manageable steps. Take action and begin working towards your goals, even if progress is slow.
🧘🏽♀️Be Flexible: Be prepared to adapt your plans as needed. Life is unpredictable, and circumstances may change, but being flexible can help you continue moving forward towards your dreams.
🚨 Seek Support: Don’t be afraid to seek support from friends, family, or professionals when working towards your goals. Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people can help you stay motivated and overcome challenges.
💆🏽♂️Practice Self-Care: It’s essential to take care of yourself physically and emotionally as you work towards your goals. This can involve getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
With some elbow grease and grit, you can work through any challenge to live a life of your dreams. Make dream setting a daily practice and you may just end up closer than you think to designing and achieving the life of your dreams. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. I believe in you. xo, DLUX
New Years Manifestations
About 5 years ago I changed my phrasing from “New Years Resolutions” to “New Years Goals”. This has served me incredibly well. It took the stigma off of “Resolutions” – popularly perceived as something you say but don’t do. This flip of terminology gave it a different meaning to be something more attainable based on personal goals that I was already working towards. It felt more achievable, and since that flip I tend to accomplish 90-95% of the goals I defined by the end of the calendar year.
I do a quick check in each quarter, and in June I do a full audit to see if I need to recalibrate or re-prioritize anything on the list to make sure each goal is still relevant and attainable. There is nothing wrong with pivoting if something you wished for is no longer serving you. Life is a continuous self-discovery and the only thing that is important is genuinely listening to yourself and overcoming any fear or anxiety that is keeping you from that level of authenticity in your outward life.
I have multiple sections, or categories, that each get their own short list of goals that I want to achieve. I try to keep it “realistic” in terms of quantity and attainability, but I am also a big believer, and proven experiencer, of Manifesting, Alchemy, and Law of Attraction. This has played a huge role in my achievements as I’ve dialed in on that over the past few years.
This year I am updating my language again, to encapsulate the Manifested life I want to achieve in the upcoming year. Some of the things I put on my list the past 2 years I considered “stretch goals”, and some of the things on my list I had no control over, like a specific credit score number that I wanted to hit. Not only did they come to fruition, they came forth even grander than I could’ve predicted. I know this was a bit of a combination from my manifestation practice, as well as a little naïveté or doubt of what I was capable of accomplishing, or perhaps, simply not dreaming big enough. So it felt more appropriate to upgrade this practice to New Years Manifestations. Huzzah! Let the magic unfold!
I started doing categories in 2018 and this has been a work in progress, but the intent was to simplify so it doesn’t become this endless unattainable list. With categories, I can pick 2-3 things per category and it isn’t overwhelming because they are usually related to the greater good of that category. In 2018 I called it Health, Hearth, Heart. If it didn’t fall under one of those categories then it wasn’t worth recording because those were the areas I wanted to focus my attention in 2018.
In 2019 I think I forgot about my categories in a way or maybe I just got really statistic focused because my list is shown as quarters: Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. I think this is where I started feeling the call to have regular check ins with myself so not to fall into the well known trap of going all in for January and then throwing it all out the window by February. I wanted to make sure I was holding myself accountable. This strategy is also great for breaking things up into bite sized chunks which can prevent overwhelm if you have a really big goal to hit by the end of the year.
I should mention, I start drafting the resolutions for the upcoming year in November and solidify in mid December. This gives me ample time to consider if it’s something I genuinely want or if it is fleeting. As my practice develops, my goals tend to compound over time so this process has been getting easier each year.
For 2020 I reverted to the category idea but I only had 2 main areas that I wanted to focus heavily on: finance and fitness. I also had a monthly travel plan that was adjunct to my goals, but did not make it onto the actual New Years Goals List because I decided to clump it into the finance section. You need money to travel right? Of course that was all squelched with the pandemic, however, it actually catapulted the financial goals I had on the list. It worked out in unexpected ways, particularly with improving my discipline around budgeting and cash flowing my adventures as opposed to going into debt for them. 2020 was also the year I became consumer debt free and I wouldn’t trade that accomplishment for anything.
In 2021 I really finessed the category concept and I may repeat this for 2022 because it still resonates with what I want to put my attention on: Finance, Wellness, Creative, Travel. I decided to make travel it’s own category because it is much more than a budget line. Travel gives me life. It is a spiritual experience for me in many ways. Immersing in other cultures and interacting with the incredible humans on this planet, especially where “old world values” still thrive and people aren’t inundated with commerce the way we are in the US, is affirming as a global citizen of this planet. To witness humanity at its finest, participate in genuine community, dance, break bread, and share laughter is everything. Simply put, I feel more human when I travel, and this is a huge relief to my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system, among many, many other benefits.
Wellness will always be on my list moving forward. Historically my self care has been the last of my priorities but no longer. You can not fill from an empty well. I will give to myself first in order to better serve the world. This comes in many forms and will focus on all things mind, body, spirit. Run a race every quarter, practice meditation, optimize nutrition, keep a gratitude journal…these types of things are crucial for a life well lived.
On this blog you will see that the Finance section is under the Wellness category. This is by design. Financial wellness is a part of that larger equation. If you are stressed about money or your future, it is harder to care for your body and your mind. Financial stress can deplete everything, above and beyond what a spa day could give you. Sure, with meditation and affirmations you can rise above but that is easier said than done. Coming from the deep, dark poverty that I was raised in I can say first hand it is hard to even consider mediation when you are straining to put food on the table or keep shelter over your head. There is a difference between thriving and surviving, and surviving doesn’t leave room for much else. The pursuit of financial independence is a wellness practice as much as a self preservation practice. Since it is more tactile and nuanced, however, I give it its own category for a New Years reset.
Whether you call it New Years Resolutions, Goals, or Manifestations, it is a great practice for personal growth. If you miss and it’s still important you can try again. In 2015 I was in burnout, I was scatter brained, and I felt lost. I made a resolution for 2016 to “Simplify My Life”. That was it. That was my only resolution that year. I dove all in and you know what I found out? Things had gotten pretty complicated. In order to actually simplify my life, I had alot of things to close out and re-prioritize. I made the same resolution for 2 more years before I felt like I had accomplished my goal. And I have no shame in my time frame. Persistence is the key. It’s not about checking something off a list, it’s about growth. Pure and simple.
I hope seeing my process and structure is helpful and gives renewed hope that New Years Resolutions do not need to be flighty or fantastic. It’s just an aid for designing your life to be exactly as you wish it to be. I’ll be digging into my 2022 Manifestations soon so stay tuned. What are some resolutions, goals, manifestations you want to energize next year?
MANTRA • I AM
Take A Moment.
Speak A Mantra.
Reset Your Mind.
Speak And Repeat.
Say It Now.
I Am Abundance.
I Am Infinite.
I Am Life.
I Am Light.
I Am Love.
Design Your Life
Wherever you are on your journey
even if it is day 1
or just starting to take your first step
whatever your journey entails
you are not too late
you are not too far behind
you are not inferior
you are deserving
you are amazing
you are love
you are a force
you can do anything
10 Quotes to Inspire You to Manifest Your Dreams
I am just *crushing* this month already, boyeeee!
It’s worth stopping, acknowledging, and celebrating! I am so pumped at my own success that I wanted to use this energy to share some inspo with you! Manifestation is simply the process of bringing about events and experiences through the energy you put out into the world. We all have the power to do this, it’s all about mindset. Here are 10 quotes to get you stoked to take action and manifest the life of your dreams! 🧚
- “Where attention goes energy flows.” ~ James Redfield
2. “If you can dream it you can achieve it.” ~ Zig Ziglar
3. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
4. “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.” ~ Maya Angelou
5. “Thoughts become things. If you see it in your mind, you will hold it in your hand.” ~ Bob Proctor
6. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” ~ Albert Einstein
7. “Whether you think you can or can’t, either way, you are right.” ~ Henry Ford
8. “To accomplish great things we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe.” ~ Anatole France
9. “Your life is the manifestation of your dream; it is an art, and you can change your life anytime that you’re not enjoying the dream.” ~ don Miguel Ruiz
10. “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” ~ Henry David Thoreau
You have the power!!! I believe in you!
H E A L I N G
Every morning I do a priming exercise that allows me to energetically connect to loved ones that could benefit from some healing energy. Energy is always moving, always recycling, always shifting. It’s such a great opportunity to share what we have on a cellular level.
Just like depression spirals downward, positivity spins upward, lifting us in its path. It’s easier said than done, but with concentration and focus, if you can keep your mindset healthy, the rest of your energy will flow in that direction and clear the path of mental, emotional, and physical stressors, which all lead to disease. The mind body connection is very real, scientifically proven, and extremely crucial for our wellbeing.
You can heal from anything in this regard. There are countless studies of people visualizing themselves into wellness, so many incredibly miraculous stories, even dissolving tumors through this practice. It is still hard when you are in pain, or are dealing with a dire situation. So that’s where the old adage comes in, I get by with a little help from my friends.
For friends and strangers, this morning practice allows me to tap into shared energy and use it for good. Not only do I send this energy into the world around me, but I benefit from it as well. It is much more pleasant starting the day this way when compared to how I used to wake up, running late and having to rush out the door, cursing my way to work, scrambling to get my act together. This new improved routine took a lot of practice, but it’s all about priorities. I wanted to prioritize having a healthy morning routine before the day goes wild. I wanted to design a beautiful life and not feel stressed and discombobulated all the time. Giving energetically in this way allows me to feel accomplished and connected before I’ve even walked out the door.
In addition, when we give, it can take so much of our own struggle away. This is a tried and true method. If you are struggling, consider sitting in a meditation that focuses on sending healing energy to others. The priming exercise I like to do that keeps me focused on healing for myself and others is this Priming Exercise.
You are strong, resilient, and unstoppable. I love you so much!
LIFE CHANGING MORNING ROUTINE
HAPPY 2 MONTH ANNIVERSARY
Exactly 2 months ago – once and for all – I found MY WHY and transformed, literally overnight, into a morning person. ☀️
To be fair, this personal development has taken years and countless failures and rebounds, but as I described in this post, I did have an immediate transformation that sealed the deal for this morning routine once and for all. Find your why and you can develop a morning routine like this too!
~~~ Here’s The Breakdown ~~~
5:30am Wake Up Walk Pup
I used to shuffle out of bed and whine, or more realistically, hit the snooze button 82 times, but now I usually jump up a minute or 2 before my alarm goes off. This is how my energetic rockstar pup @VenusVegaDlux wakes up too so we go right for a quick squat after heading down 4 flights of stairs from our condo in the sky.
5:45am Brush Teeth
After Venus relieves herself, I brush my teeth. Not in the street, silly! We went back upstairs already. I use a Philips Sonicare electric toothbrush. Sorry I’m not on that obvious minimalist #bambootoothbrush tip, but I have crappy teeth and I need a workhorse to keep these dudes happy. I need to figure out how to recycle the heads like they do in Russian supermarkets, but at the moment I extend the life of the used heads by using them for cleaning or painting projects. I change them quarterly so I’m only a bad person 4 times a year. I’ve had this toothbrush for about 6 years now so at least the body is lasting a long time. I also love it because I can travel without the charger and the battery lasts over a week. The charger is tiny so I’ll bring it if I’m travelling longer than a week.
5:50am Rose Water Amethyst Facial
I never gave myself facials even when I was sleeping in, not even at night. Truth is I was notoriously bad at self care. I just figured if I’m going to be awake this early I should give myself something to look forward to and I came up with this little gem. It’s so easy I do it with my eyes closed, literally.
The first step actually starts with clearing my nasal passages. I’ve been doing this ever since the Pandemic started as a way to cleanse so it’s a vital part of my daily routine now. I use Now Activated Nasal Spray and it really is a game changer. Since I do breathing exercises in my morning routine (priming and meditation), this gets all that gunk out of the way ahead of time. Inflammation seems to be worse in the morning for me so it helps to start off with this cleansing routine. When I sought this product out, I was not even sure it existed. Years ago, 2004 to be exact, I was traveling in Brasil and started to feel a nasty cold coming on. I was at Copacabana Beach with a gal I met from Italy, and she literally told me to snort the ocean. As much as I was dumbfounded by what she was suggesting, she was dumbfounded that I didn’t know about this. Her grandmother showed her when she was a little girl and they’ve been warding off colds for generations this way. I did it. It was awkward, and totally worked. I got a head rush, felt the salt water drip down the back of my nasal passages, and the cold symptoms completely vanished. This spray is the next best thing if you can’t snort the ocean every morning.
Next I do a quick cold water rinse on my face and pat dry. Then I take a cotton ball and clean my face with TN Dickinson’s Witch Hazel. (I compost the cotton ball). Next I spritz my face with Rose Water. Did you know that food grade products undergo far greater regulations than topical products? Your skin is your biggest organ so anything you put on your skin should be no worse than anything you eat, but the industry doesn’t work that way. Rose water products are on trend and you have the price tag to prove it. Topical beauty products not only cost more, but they have other ingredients that are hard to pronounce (aka bad for your health). I’ve always had a 100% natural skin care routine and I’ve had nearly flawless skin as a result so I don’t buy into that beauty market ish. Save your dollars and your skin and get some classic food grade Rose Water and put it in your own spritzer bottle. Cortas was my go-to but I think they are onto me because the unit price has gone up so I’m trying this one by Sadaf next. I bought these bottles from Amazon for my DIY products.
Finally, I use this Amethyst Roller. I know Jade and Rose Quartz are all the rage but I’m a diehard rebel and an amethyst gal. I’m still moving everything around that needs to be awakened so I love this thing even if I’m not trending. I keep it in the freezer so it feels incredible to roll over my fresh dewy morning skin. I also roll over my thyroid to help keep her functioning well. Cold therapy has been one of my #1 tools in fighting inflammation, and inflammation is the source of all disease so if you can keep that at bay, you’re winning.
5:55 am Lemon Water
Right before my workout, I drink 20 ounces of water with a tablespoon of lemon juice. First thing in the belly and great for the gut! It’s hydrating, starts you off with a burst of Vitamin C, balances your PH, produces collagen, stimulates the digestive system, is renowned in Ayurvedic medicine, and so much more. Check out this Mind Body Green Article for more info on the health benefits. I was making my own fresh squeezed for a while but peeling lemons was not my jam and a bottle of pure, organic, lemon juice is actually not very expensive. I decided to pay myself first and free myself from this particular chore. I’ve been using Sprouts Organic Lemon Juice for a few months and it’s perfect. There are ZERO additional ingredients other than organic lemon juice and currently retails at 25 cents per ounce. I’ve also enjoyed Lakewood and Santa Cruz Organic Lemon Juice. All 3 are high quality, affordable, and last a long time in the fridge.
By far the highlight of my morning! I love waking up to dance and elemental connection. The Kinrgy method uses movement, breathwork, and the 4 elements of Earth, Fire, Water, and Air to center you and give birth to your own distinct expression. This was another gift I gained from UPW and it brings me incredible joy and energy to start my day. The guides are incredible and weave poetry, activism, and soliloquies into the workout which is an incredible bonus. I’m so so grateful for this daily practice.
Next I do TR’s Priming Exercise, which helps bring focus and intentionality to my day. I also use this time to send healing energy to people that need it, and visualize my future vision of and for myself.
I do a 10 or 15 minute morning meditation. I can not express what a huge impact this has been on day. To start feeling this grounded and centered is something I haven’t experienced regularly since my career took off. I’m so happy to feel back in my body this way. I’m OBSESSED with @RoxyTalks. I have been wanting to do a video series of my spoken word poetry and some mantras that I’ve written and her style is almost exactly what I envisioned for that project. Roxy is A VIBE. Right now for the morning sesh I’m mostly toggling between Self Love Affirmations and Positive Morning Affirmations, but really all of her meditations and affirmations rock so just pick whatever jives with you.
7:15am Walk Pup
Venus just had a quick pee when we woke up at 5:30am so now we go do the real business.
7:25am Cold Shower
YES. I am actually doing this. I listened to Melissa Urban‘s podcast Do The Thing Ep 34: Cold Showers with Ed Sheeran and a YEAR later still had the anything but that mentality. After visualizing the worst case scenario of how my body would continue to decline, continue become harder to heal, continue to become stiffer and more painful, if I continued to not DO THE WORK to cure myself, I finally got smacked in the face that time was moving on without me. I refuse to live the rest of my life in a sick or suffering manner. I’ve come too far for that. So I started with baby steps, 2mm at a time, 2º at a time. By some standards my cold shower is still a baby step but it is serving me and I’ll do it in my own time. You should too. You make the rules. You design your life.
My method is I take a warm shower for 3 minutes and just enjoy it, then I use my 1 minute timer on my watch and shift the water temperature just past the middle where it’s just below luke warm and a little colder. For the second minute I move it another 2 degrees colder. That’s it. 2 minutes of cold water. I jump around and sing and howl and I’m SO ALIVE afterwards. It has flushed my inflammation and brain fog down the toilet! I don’t want to be sick ever again, so I put my full mind and intention into this 2 minutes. I am here to thrive. I am here to live a beautiful life.
7:30am Celery Juice
I drink 8 ounces of celery juice while I air dry. I’m currently doing an experiment to figure out how much celery I need to prep to juice 3-4 days in advance. Remove the barriers preventing you from your good habits. I don’t squeeze lemons and celery at 6am. I do it ahead of time, usually at night. I just bought Suja Celery Juice for the first time so I’m going to try that out this week and compare it to my fresh squeezed Celery Juice. I upcycle my Synergy Kombucha bottles to prep my celery juice in advance, so I’m currently measuring this all out and calculating in order to honor my time if I can. I know Suja isn’t JUST celery so I’m thinking on that, but I’m not totally against it either. Again, I’m still in the research stage. I’ll probably land somewhere in a combo style.
7:35am Coffee Time
The big reward! My morning really flows. Although it sounds like a lot, I’ve removed barriers and made these steps as easy and seamless as possible so I wouldn’t get discouraged and give up. I feel so accomplished at this point that a warm cup of joe with creamy nutpods is the perfect gift to soak it all in. I am taking a break from my superfood coffee recipe. I was using Laird’s for a while but they all have sugar in them and I’m not about that life. Sugar will ruin you inside and out. If there is only one change you make in your whole life, quit sugar.
*Stay tuned for Superfood Coffee recipes, although it may just have to live on in my smoothies if I don’t come up with a good solution.
* Check out Ritual De Cafe
7:35am Read Morning Brew
I’ve been reading Morning Brew as my daily news burst for about a month now and it’s absolutely perfect. I love how succinct and witty it is and I can get a quick daily digest before I get whisked away into my day. I get briefed on the latest 24 hour activity of the stonks, world news, politics, vaccine updates, and even surprises like bypassing the waiting list for @Masterworks. Check out my post on my recent purchase of Yayoi Kusama’s Pumpkin, 1990 and my Masterworks membership.
HMU if you want a link to Morning Brew. It rad.
8am Slay The Day
YOU KNOW WHAT I DO. GO SLAY!
MAY PERSONAL GOALS
Setting intentions for the month of May. Also how is it already May?
What are you getting after this month?
CREATE YOUR OWN DESTINY
Remember, you are the designer of your life, not the manager.
You, and only you, have the power to make a change.
What is more frightening, venturing into the unknown, or living the rest of your entire life unhappy and unsatisfied, always wondering “what if”?
Satisfaction is alive and well on the other side of fear.
Be brave. I believe in you.
RITUAL DE CAFE
Coffee has always been a prized start to my day but lately, it is even more cherished.
Almost 2 months ago I was finally able to develop – and stick to – a morning routine that would start my day on the right foot. I have struggled my whole life to be a morning person, in fact, I stopped trying years ago. But when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in 2016 it got MUCH worse.
Once this disease took over my body I was dysfunctionally exhausted all of the time. I barely made it through the day. I was going to bed at 6pm and waking up at 2am with insomnia. If I didn’t have a day job I would have been in bed the whole day without question. No matter what I did I was beyond exhausted around the clock. I could not function to save my life.
Once my medication was dialed in, which took almost a year, my sleep cycles didn’t become normal, but were more manageable. Insomnia happened less frequently and exhaustion levels went from impossible to somewhat sadly manageable, but my mornings never recovered. It felt like whatever my body was doing to process this illness it was doing overnight and in the morning I had a mega ton of bricks weighing me down. It took everything I had to claw out of bed.
I missed my formerly energetic self, my old life. I knew, like many other tragedies in my life, that this would be no different: I must refuse to be a victim. I did not want to live the rest of my days on Earth feeling this way, plain and simple. This was the WHY that kept me searching for answers.
Of course the road is not that easy with a chronic illness and though I wished to cure myself overnight, it has taken several years to gain back my strength and diminish the ever powerful symptoms of chronic fatigue, brain fog, joint pain, chronic muscle and bone pain, and more.
Coffee wasn’t waking me up, but the aroma, the steam rising from the cup, the warmth touching my lips, still gave me a cozy way to start my day. I was devastated to learn that I would not be able to drink coffee upon waking with my new medication which requires an empty stomach for an hour before ingesting anything…and 4 hours for ibuprofen so you better not wake up with a hangover.
So I started setting my alarm at 5:30am so I could take my pill and fall back asleep until I was allowed to have coffee. For the first few years I thought it would be nice to be able to actually wake up at this time and do a work out or get some writing in, but it seemed to be harder and harder to wake up even when my symptoms were *mostly* under control. “Is this medication really serving me,” I often wondered.
In the beginning of March I attended Tony Robbins’ Unleash The Power Within and unleash we did! In full transparency, I have visualized aplenty, and I have incredible will power in many areas of my life, but I think what was different for me this time was we practiced a visualization where we didn’t see the outcome we wanted, but the outcome we didn’t want. What would life be like if you continue on this path you are on, where you are not practicing the rituals and actions that would make the difference in your life? Who would you become? How much more would it hurt? How much worse would it get? What would your life look like years after doing nothing differently that you’re doing today? How would your relationships turn out? Your body? Your mindset?
I can’t even begin replicate Tony’s incredible guidance in a blog post because it is genuine total immersion and the exercises we do over those 4 days unlock so many blocks within you using neuropsychology and other scientifically backed techniques that create multitudes of AHA moments, but for me particularly, it was beyond transformative to go into the depth of that negative visualization that really gave me the boot in the rear I needed to break the cycle I was stuck in.
What on earth does this have to do with coffee?
For the past 7 weeks I’ve been waking up at 5:30am 🤯 and getting into a myriad of amazing things to start my day. I have a nice walk with my dog, I have a glorious morning facial routine, a cold shower, drink lemon water and celery juice, meditate and prime my body and mind, and I work out with @kinrgy every day. This has been a game changer. I still have to pinch myself it’s going so well. *The full details of my morning routine will be posted on May 4th, my 2 month anniversary of being a legit morning person!
I don’t even have coffee until 7:30am! By that time it is the icing on the cake and it just tastes that much better. I have eliminated sugar from diet and I feel a gazillion times better for it. I simply add some pure, creamy, non-dairy, alt-milk like @nutpods and sometimes I’ll top it off with cinnamon and it is the perfect reward to everything I’ve already accomplished.
I love that I don’t need coffee to wake me up, but I get to simply enjoy the flavor and ritual of the ceremony.
☕️ How do you take your coffee? ☕️
…I HAVE THE OPPOSITE OBSESSION…
“The physical as a symbol of the spiritual world. The people who keep old rags, old useless objects, who hoard, accumulate: are they also keepers and hoarders of old ideas, useless information, lovers of the past only, even in its form of detritus?…I have the opposite obsession. In order to change skins, evolve into new cycles, I feel one has to learn to discard. If one changes internally, one should not continue to live with the same objects. They reflect one’s mind and psyche of yesterday. I throw away what has no dynamic, living use. I keep nothing to remind me of the passage of time, deterioration, loss, shriveling.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 4: 1944-1947
Moment of Zen
Turning A Should Into A Must
This was me at 6am on the first day of turning a “should” into a “must”.
It was the day after attending Tony Robbins Virtual Unleash The Power Within. I have known for some time that the key to unlocking my next level of potential was in my body. To once and for all cure the chronic illness I’ve been battling for 5 years, to get my full energy back, to literally unleash the power within.
The thing was, I was having the damndest time following through, despite knowing this was the answer, this was crucial, this was non-negotiable. I am so disciplined and structured in just about every other aspect of my life – my house is clean and organized (and delightful!), I have a succesful Real Estate side hustle, I am crushing it in my career, I have deeper, more sincere relationships than ever, my nutrition has become outstanding… but exercise – I was SO inconsistent.
Why? I always feel WAY better afterwards. My symptoms improve or vanish when I would have a regular spell of exercise. Yet, I always ended up working through lunch instead of going for a jog. At the end of the day I’d be too tired to workout and I wanted some downtime after busting my hump all day. And mornings? Fuhgettaboutit. That was when my thyroid symptoms were the worst. No matter how good my intentions, I would hit the snooze button over and over again while my brain fog and inflammation sunk me deeper into total of loss of will power for physical exertion.
So it is remarkable and I couldn’t be more thrilled that today is my 2 week anniversary of finally succeeding in this shift! Everyday at 6am I do a @kinrgy workout. I LOVE this workout. It is so much more than a workout. They guide us through the elements in dance and expression and it feels so good! Plus their guides are incredible – I LOVE Rebeka’s energy. She reminds me of myself pre-trauma, and inspires me to keep working on getting back to that effervescent part of myself. And Ulato brings big Jamaican energy and brilliantly quotes historic black leaders and poets that take this movement and connection to a whole new level that I honor so much and fuels me to keep fighting for love and equality. Christine is just pure light and makes me feel so playful, genuine, and connected. I mean, I could go on about every single one of them – I love them so much!
So what changed? I turned a should into a must. Tony Robbins and his crew gave us so many tangible tools to go deep and find our why. It was so much more than words though. Through a series of exercises (written, spoken, and physical), and alot of intentional physiological changes and upgrades, I was able to unlock blocks that I was holding in my body and in my psyche that I thought I had cleared years ago. These blocks were holding me back BIG TIME and I had NO idea.
By the end of UPW I was magically a morning person. Well, maybe it wasn’t simply magic. I found my why, I created genuine intention, and I unleashed the power within. I feel literally unstoppable! Not only do I now workout daily at 6am, I follow it with a Priming meditation, and a COLD shower to tap into the Wim Hof method. By 7am I’ve done all of this, drank a pint of lemon water, and walked the dog. My mornings have never been like this before. Not only has my morning routine benefitted, but I have much more energy all day, my brain fog has lifted, joint pain is GONE, and I’m happier than I’ve been in years. I was already pretty happy because I have deep philosophies towards that way of being, but now I have this innate joy vibrating through my body in a way that hasn’t happened since before the tragedies of 2004.
Yep, that was me at 6am on Day 1. Bright eyed, bushy tailed, and ready to take on a new day, a new life!
THANK YOU Tony Robbins Joseph McClendon Kinrgy Julianne Hough Karissa Kouchis Egoscue Team Tony
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Personally I have been extremely successful at being single on Valentine’s Day. 😉 Which is perfectly fine because I definitely don’t believe you need a partner to celebrate LOVE. Love is my religion and I’ll celebrate its many forms any day of the week! If you are flying solo this year, here are a few ways you can celebrate love and not feel left out of this holiday.
Self Love and Self Care are obvs at the top of this list. This is something so many of us struggle with on a regular basis, so if that’s you, give yourself permission to be all about yourself today. While baths and candles are a great way to relax and take care of yourself, they aren’t the only things you can do (but do it if you can!). I know it can be hard to find time for self when career, family, or community commitments are constantly calling our attention. Try a 5 or 10 minute guided meditation affirming your prowess. 🧘♂️ I often like to do meditations like this as an active / moving meditation because I am notoriously bad at sitting still, so going for a walk and having this in my earbuds while I observe the amazing world around me can be very affirming. You deserve this. ❤️
5-Minute Self Love Meditation
Empowerment Affirmations Rampage
Love some animals! Take a few minutes and just sit on the floor with your pet(s). They will love receiving affection by you and playing with you. The important thing here is to be fully present in this moment and try to remove distractions like a TV running in the background or scrolling your phone. Have a very present exchange with your pets and bask in that unconditional love. Don’t have a pet? Visit a dog park and spend some time with your neighbor’s pets. This has become a favorite weekend activity for my dog and I, and Venus loves saying hi to everyone there, whether they have their own pets or not!
Give. One of the quickest ways that I get myself out of a slump is by giving back to the community. Lately I have taken to making gift bags with a few items like lip balm, a scarf, dry shampoo, and tampons, and giving them out to homeless women I see. You can also make donations or volunteer your time to a local organization that moves you. Here are a few online resources to help you find dozens of organizations that could use your help:
The Good Trade
Set up a Zoom brunch or a Happy Hour with your besties from every time zone. This year I am bringing together a bunch of my gal pals for some virtual reverie and I’m excited not only to spend time with them, but to have the opportunity to introduce some of my friends from different cities who otherwise might never have had a chance to meet. There’s always a bright side if you look in that direction. ✨
You ARE love. We ARE love. Feel your own purity through the medium of love, and take time to genuinely love yourself and spread love to everyone you see today, and every day. Celebrate glorious love, and ride that vibe into the sunset. Also, eat chocolate, everyone needs some chocolate. 🍫
You have ONE precious life. What is stopping you? Go get it. I believe in you. 🥰
I quote Jim Carrey and listen to this speech regularly. I can’t even do it justice to write about. Click the vid and see for yourself. Jim Carrey is someone who gets it. He is compounding energy super sized. (You can do it too). “The effect you have on others is the most valuable currency there is.” Watch. This. Now.
THE DAILY HAPPY
People often ask me how I stay so positive in tough times. How could I begin to abbreviate what I’ve transformed? It goes deep yo.
The truth is I’ve been through more “Big T” traumas than you can count on one hand and it’s for this exact reason that I work hard to stay positive. Without getting into too much detail I’ll say this, there were two main catapults that have landed me at this vantage point. The first was an abusive and unstable childhood, to put it lightly. Once I escaped that prison I knew resolutely what I did NOT want to be, so I had alot of incentive to follow my dreams and never give up. Just as I was getting into the groove of being a badass and owning my life, as if I hadn’t been through enough already, my rebirth into positivity was almost taken away from me again when I was assaulted a mere 3 weeks after my little brother’s suicide. As hard as it was, I knew that if I stayed down for too long it would be letting my rapist win. From that day forward I made a decision to “refuse to be a victim”. It didn’t happen overnight, but the commitment was resolute.
Refusing to be a victim has taken years of practice, of breakdowns, of therapy, of giving up, of getting back up again. At the end of the day we all need reminders; this is a choice. Your attitude is a choice. Your perspective is a choice. Yes, absolutely honor the hurt, acknowledge the pain, (denial is not healthy), but you can’t wallow. It’s too hard to climb out of that downward spiral once it gains traction. So I speak a different truth into existence. I use mantras to lift me up. And I’ll be damned, it works. So much so that I just want to shout it to the world : “heyyyyyy – it’s not easy but it works! Don’t give up!”
Print the image of this mantra out and speak a new / improved loving reality for yourself. Speak it in a meditation, in the mirror, on a walk, hiding in the bathroom at work – whatever works for you. Practice makes perfect, and it does get easier. You just gotta believe. 💫
ps for a sliding scale donation of $3 – $20 I can update the graphic to be your portrait or an image of your choice. To request, use the contact page and reference “THE DAILY HAPPY”. ✨
2020 just would not stop. No matter how much you were beat down – stop – and take a deep breath.
Look within yourself right this minute. You got through it. One punch after another, you kept getting up. Believe me, I know it feels impossible to get back up sometimes, and you did it! We need to reflect that triumph in this very moment.
Be proud of yourself. You are incredible!
Not only have you come this far, but you’ve inspired people along the way. You’ve helped people take another step, and stay on their path. You made someone smile. You made someone grateful. You fed someone’s hunger.
You did that. Keep doing that. xo, dlux