UTOPIA

a dreamscape to manifest the physical

Non-Profit Prophet

I am a non-profit prophet because I sort-of get it

I’m no sage

… but …

I do know that life is meaningless if

You’re obsessed with matching sets of silverware

Cultivating your nails and hair

And never spend time with your SOUL

I wonder how many people know about the lunar eclipse tonight

The clouds try to keep it out of sight but

I see through them

I zoom into them and float in the memory of the former me

The Sun & Moon become one and my ego becomes undone

I AM the starlight

The flame ignited

The right versus wrong

I am strong now

I remember my first Pow-Wow a few hundred years ago

Under the glow of this very moon

Except it was noon and as soon as the ceremony was over

I bent and saw a clover which breathed me in and released me as Oxygen

I went into the lungs of ALL men and women and for a moment

The world inhaled in unison

There was a Hushhhhhh

On the Planet

When they exhaled

It was this very moment

With the Lunar Eclipse

Kisses on the lips of lovers

Darkness under covers

A hummingbird hovers honeysuckle and time buckles, unnoticed

As a crest crashes in the sea

The former me joins the presiding we and we are the Essence

The past becoming the present becoming the future

While I try to nurture Collective Memory and

Soothe the wounds of denial

Filter through the forgotten file looking for the wings of man

The “I can” attitude, the cure for rude behavior

The savior within the self

I thought I saw forgiveness on this shelf but it seems to be missing

Where did all this greed come from?

When I was young I often spoke of speaking to the sun

I said that’s where my ideas came from

So my Aunt Dot said to me “you must’ve been born here 9 times already”

It flew over my head or

I took it for granted and then

Forgot it for a while until I saw it in her smile right before she left this planet

So while I’m still here I’ll try to outsmart fear

I will not fear being different if it makes me Grow

I encourage you to do the same

Take aim to remain within the realm of intense Adoration

Of every good willed motivation

Of the lasting vibration of eternal breath and the loving of YOU

You are WE, all woven together in the superstring

Which is why you feel me when I sing and

The song crosses oceans and causes motion which makes someone, somewhere,

Hum, or drum, or

Thumb through the pages of

The Forgotten File

And AWAKEN

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Booking Confirmed

“Not all those who wander are lost.” – J.R.R. Tolkien

Ahhh Tolkien, author of the echo of the incessant nomad. We defend ourselves in this quote, the wandering, carefree, roaming travelers. If not, we are “running away”, “hiding”, or “lost”. Those addicted to routine, hidden behind statues of finance that dictate how money is allotted, with travel listed as a non-priority, these sweet regular folk can’t perceive the how or why. Some envy us, others judge us. The pictures aren’t big enough and you can’t smell geography. You have to GO yourself to understand why we expedition junkies must gallivant extravagant itineraries, why we must submerge in foreign cultures just to grasp what human really is, and our suffocating need to breathe so much pure oxygen in untouched landscapes. Honestly, YES, sometimes I do run or hide but rarely am I lost. If ever I am, it’s certainly the best way to be found. Most of the time I am running, though, it is to, not from. It is to explore. It is to discover. It is to unearth. It is to grow. Every time I roam I ascend. I conquer fears and disappointments. I vanquish the confusion produced from the western daily grind. I go to and I get my damn priorities straight, effortlessly, as I witness exquisite beauty from coastlines to kinsfolk. I wander and I am found.

Nap Tri

My nap was amazing! I feel rested but I dreamt that I was running a triathlon while I was sleeping, except I had to finish the last mile in 2 laps, but I stopped to do a craft show first and had put on jeans. When the time came to run the last mile in 2 laps, I didn’t feel like changing my clothes and doing it anymore! I woke up before I could see if I actually finished or not!

Rape Song

Time Warp Conditions

Pete was in the corner eating all of my Nutella.   

3 of us laying in corner to regroup but the crowd came in.

They strangely crowded the tiny stage even though the large hall was vacant.

Went to the same place in NYC where the GPS always freaks out, probably because of the time warp, the altitude too high, the snow, the train coming, too many people. I’ve been there before so I knew when I started walking a certain direction that it would lead to empty dark confusing woods and it’s really hard to get out so I stopped, turned around, and thought about how I could get help. When I turned around there was a little boy too close and out of control with his actions and he spun into something on my hip that made a smacking sound against something on him. Metal? He started to cry and I asked if he was ok but they were very absorbed with themselves and didn’t hear me.

Manifestation Harvesting

I was practicing my manifestation skills by looking in a magazine and making the items appear almost immediately. I didn’t do it on purpose at first. I saw a beautiful jacket and I thought “I want that. I wish I could see it in person so I could decide if I want to buy it”. Then I looked up and a woman walking by was wearing it even though it was a super rare and unique item. I knew immediately my manifesting skills were getting stronger so I decided to practice then and there. I flipped through the pages and would see an item I like and look up and sure enough someone walked by with it, the exact colors and everything. I kept getting faster until the finale was a super unique organic shirt that was short and flowy with a back that opened towards the bottom, brown with a bone white border and it appeared floating on a hanger right next to me. I felt like I just won a race. Now there was no question that I was indeed manifesting these things and I knew I could manifest anything if I merely decided and believed.

Gigmare #87

I was programming a huge intelligent rig from a blind spot and the console that I was given was made out of wood and didn’t have any faders or encoders. There was literally an arc sawed off where the faders used to be. Talk about a challenge!

6.28.16

I was living with Ricky. I moved but then we met the owner and it was available again (or still). Ricky said the rent was $1800 but he could get the landlord to pay us that amount since he hadn’t rented it yet, so we’d break even. He wanted to keep the money himself and kept assuring me that I would get free groceries instead.  It was in New York, and my new place was on the outskirts of the city. I loved the location and was excited. The hotel part – huge steps I was running up and down. Getting Cider, bartenders were really nice. I left $7 on the counter that disappeared. It seemed like a customer picked it up. I had to run up and down the giant steps to go get more money to replace it. I also ordered a small personal pizza, but when I came back from getting the money the bartender was struggling to figure out how to put the pizza into a sandwich. The 2 bartenders and I all thought the men description was just for a pizza but he explained that the description was outdated and this was the new menu item. Everyone was pretty confused and we just watched as he struggled to make the pizza sandwich.

Party Time

Carl and Macy were planning to move in with me. It was a week before moving day and Macy came over and said “I mean, we aren’t formally committed right? This just isn’t going to work”. There was a party next door the night before and there was one cigarette butt in a trash can that had gotten water in it from the rain. I knew those parties would be happen more than once a month, it was always said to be once a month, and that one was a little rowdier than usual because there was a biker gang in town and they brought a pool hall/bowling alley with them. I was going to play one round of something, but my partner didn’t show up. Then a group of 8 elderly people came by and tried to take over before my friend arrived. I went to the biker gang, that we were supposed to play against to tell them that my partner was missing and they offered to pair me up with one of their people even though we wouldn’t technically be against each other anymore. They were really nice, just had brutal appearances, and we ended up having a blast. I stayed up way later than expected and had a bit of a hangover by the time Carl and Macy arrived. The pool hall/bowling alley and everyone was gone and it was back to be a normal apartment complex but since we hadn’t seen each other in so long, Macy just assumed I partied all the time and would not consider it, even though it had been 3 weeks since they agreed and Carl still wanted to. I knew it was probably for the best and that I could get another roommate easily since the location was so good.

Shapeshifter

I met a bird that could talk. She was an ancient soul.

When I asked how she spoke English she said I was actually understanding her language.

She could also shiftshape.

I walked my dog home – he kept crying and told me he was floating out in the middle of the universe. He was lost floating in space, even though his body was here with me.

The paint on the walls looked solid in dim light, but messy camo in bright light.

It think when the bird crosses into my realm, it spins the dog out and that’s why he was floating in the universe.

I Had to hold him in my lap with my arms wrapped all around him to keep him still in the universe.

He was a combo of Mars and Jupiter, but bigger.

2.12.17

I adopted a kid. I went through an adoption agency and hadn’t even met him in person. They gave me 10 days before he arrived to decide if I was sure, but the ten days went by in a flash and the night before they were due to come over I realized it was probably too late to change my mind. My heart was racing with stress, because I realized I was unfit for the task. I wanted to help a child in need, but I knew my schedule was so all over the place that I wouldn’t even be able to get him to school on time most days. And what if I needed to go out of town for an extended period? I sat on the brink, riddled with fear, waiting to meet my teenage son.

Biz Trip

I went on another business trip and plumb forgot my suitcase. I didn’t realize until I was deboarding the plane and remembered that I had not ever placed my suitcase overhead. My BFF was changing planes there and she was perplexed and acted strange and judgy to me about it as she was liked right by to her next destination. I had to divide the clothes on my back into 4 outfits to make it through my next two back to back training seminars. 

When I checked into the hotel, bagless, I realized that not only did I forget my suitcase, but it was left in the last hotel, at least 4 days prior and the chances of recovery were lost. I started counting the items in the suitcase and cost that was adding up was getting extremely high and difficult to replace all at once. 

I went to take a shower to reset but there were 3 women who were bullying in there. I tried to get out quickly.