Cliff Diving

I was inspired by you when

you said you were spiritual

I admire that in you

I can taste the residual

I haven’t been able to

hold onto that trait

since my brother died

12 years later and I missed my pagan dreaming

Flirting with spirits and concepts of destiny

Metaphysics, Superstrings, Manifestation

A big breathing heart no fears or damnation

You seemed so brave just owning it outright

No hangups or burdens just perceived love and light

In this knowing you embodied comfort and peace

Calm and tender, a sweet masterpiece

You were doting on me so much I was crushing

Went on a limb with a text that ended up pushing you

Over some ledge, my intentions misread

Intentions of connection, of minds intertwined

Like our bodies in bed, yours overlapping mine

And like that you were gone as I fell from the cliff

From smitten kitten to unanchored, adrift

A violent wave, an outcry of pain

Renewing a past I can’t relive again

My attempts at peace discarded and shamed

You seem to have already forgotten my name

Little you know of my empathic soul

How I’d howl with you until you were comfortable

But you hide in your den and abandon me cold

Until I have no choice but letting you go

Valetudinarian

I think of you every time I see 

A Hepatitis C commercial

It’s not because you have it

It’s because you think you have it

Every time you’re overtired 

You’re really adorable 

For a hypochondriac though

You giggle and you know 

You’re being ridiculous

At least you seem to know

After you’ve become rested

My mother’s hypochondria isn’t cute 

Especially when she lied about 

Having a brain tumor 

Because she was mad at me 

I don’t know why she was mad

Maybe because I “made her fat” 

When she was pregnant with me

She told me that once

It was hard to forget 

She forgot about her brain tumor though

When I checked in about it

A few months later

A concerned daughter

And she got mad at me again

For making up lies

And intentionally hurting her

Even though I have her tumor in a text

The commercial is over now

I’m not ever going to have kids 

I don’t want to get fat