Every time I finished a load of laundry, another one appeared in the washer, just finishing. I would pile it into the drier and go to put  dryer sheet in but the box would be empty. Put the laundry in the dryer, look for dryer sheet, missing, exasperated each time as if it were a completely new experience, over and over again. I desperately wanted to leave the laundry room but the cycle was endless.



I almost missed the trolley. I was saying goodbye to 2 friends and I didn’t want to leave them. My luggage kept getting moved around. I had a large suitcase, my big black tote with the rainbow handles which was heavy and bulky, and another big backpack. It was hard to carry them all at once. It was impractical to have so much luggage. The first trolley stop was where we started our goodbyes but I realized my luggage was in a building closer to the next stop, so we ran across the city. I finally gathered everything and and we waited for the trolley but we had to stand in this tiny little area that was squeezed against a big wall and I was worried that we were going to get hit/smothered by the trolley because we barely fit in the space, especially with all of my luggage. When the trolley came I realized I didn’t have a token and exclaimed it out loud. A big and gentle woman at a picnic table slid 2 tokens toward me, one large, one small. I tried to decline but she insisted. I tried to take just one but she said it was after 11 o’clock, suggesting the fare increases at certain times. I finally started to climb on the trolley after several goodbyes and the conductor explained that the back section was closed, again because of the time, but the front section where we were allowed was having a technical issue because it kept spinning. This section was like a carousel. Normally they would only rotate if somebody was trying to get off or after people were seated and they needed to access other seats. But now it was stuck rotating pretty quickly and it was a challenge to get onto the spinning seats and try to get all of my luggage up there. I managed to get my large suitcase and the big black bag there but the tote with the rainbow handles was missing. I told the conductor that thought I had it but I left it inside and I’d be right back. She shrugged disapprovingly but allowed me to go so I started running because the building which used to be right there was now down the street through an alleyway with a series of curves and a dirt road with muddy sections and a lot of obstacles for me to tackle. I ran really fast and wondered if I had overlooked the tote, if it was still back by the picnic table or on the trolley all along.  I finally found it and started running back. I could see the trolley in my sights, and the lady at the picnic table. As I ran closer, I could feel the pressure of the trolley about to leave the station. I’m not sure if I even ever made it because that’s when I woke up. 


I was taking my houseboat to overnight camp.  Somewhere in the middle of the 2nd day of the journey, the first half began to sink. I was already out in the open with nowhere to go so I just took my chances to see how far I’d get. I was stunned to wake up in front of the place I was going. I went inside a bunk but the counselor, Jodi P., ignored me while she talked seriously to her kids. She finally recognized me and I asked if I could use the bathroom and get help with the boat. She said no she was too busy. I went back to the boat, downtrodden, and a huge current had come and swept it away. Mars was inside and I was frantic to save him but I didn’t know where the boat went. Rich W. jumped from the bank of the river, said it probably went to the rocks. We swam that direction to no avail. There was a set of bunkhouses in the way so I had to get back on the land to run to the next section of water that he might be in. Rich said he had to leave. I looked at him imploringly and started running up the hill to the next body of water I could get in. I knew the boat was somewhere along the perimeter, it was just very wide and I didn’t know my way around. Still I was determined to figure it out. I ran up the hill. Rich followed. 


I’m not sure of the order of things but I took a taxi ride and left a bunch of change on the roof. In another segment there was a minute girl with a broken leg. I think she morphed from some animal. Then when I was randomly standing with Matt with my bicycle for a time after the taxi ride, she needed help getting somewhere and I was the only option. We had to put her on my piggyback and ride on my bike. Before that though the other guy was really excited to meet her for some reason, like she was some kind of magical being. He was immediately “in” with her, in a non-romantic way, and praised her profusely. That made her question me because I didn’t give her the same praises. She said “you’re not like them. I can tell”. It was stern and cold and I thought she was disappointed and disapproving of me. I know she was a guide, a force, and a her judgment could send me to doom. I tried to assure her that I was a good heart. She thought I didn’t have a clean soul so I let her feel my heart and my neck with her palm to get my energy reading which was a little bit not great at the moment because something weird happened with the workday being too long or I don’t really know why, but I was tired and I was a little bit stressed out and I said “no it’s just been a long day. I’m OK I promise.” Then we went to leave and I had to work hard to get her on my back with the broken leg even though she was really small. She kept landing on the wrong part of my back and I needed her to go higher.  I said, “It’s because I’m sure they need you to be a pirate. Go around my waist”. She kept throwing her legs below my hips and sliding lower. I finally got on the bike. I went to get on the bicycle with her on it. The mounting was going to be tricky and the cabdriver came back. My money was still on the top of the roof except this time he said that I needed to get set up on a waiting list and then he would come back. So I started to do that and then another driver showed up and I explained to him what he was doing, that he kept coming back for gas but wouldn’t take the passengers. I knew the passengers inside because they were the same passengers that were inside and got dropped off last time I had taken a taxi ride. At some point I was also a snake. I was in a room and a man had a snake that he trained but it was still pretty wild. He kept it in the little foyer next to me while he prepared it for whatever he was about to do, and then he had to let the snake go until the snake tipped. When it would stand straight up he sprayed some kind of solution on it with a spray bottle. The snake saw me peeking around the corner at him. He was fine for a while, as long as I was very still and slow, but then I was sitting on a bed or a couch behind the door and I saw that he had noticed me too much so I tried to hide my leg and I shifted a little bit so that he couldn’t see me anymore. That made him upset and he came into the room where I was and started moving like he was going to bite me. I kept saying “take him take him away before he bites me get him get him away from me”. I was really really scared. I was trying to keep my heart rate low like when I was swimming with the shark but it was really hard. Then the snake keeper told me that he’d already bitten someone. That did happen with the man in front of me but I never saw it. He said that the snake chose to bite that other person instead of me. He was trying to show me that he wasn’t going to bite me but I couldn’t believe it.


I went to a pizza shop and ordered a pizza. It took 45 minutes. I accidentally got in the car with the driver who was taking a group home. They ended up at a party. The driver went to get something from his house. He was Czech and I liked him a lot. When he got there the electricity was shut off and this made him fall asleep. 

Finally was able to get him on the phone but we were gone for an hour or 2 and I was very upset. I hadn’t eaten and I left my wallet on the table at the restaurant when I went to the counter to see if they put my order in. I called and asked them to hold it until I got back but I didn’t know if they ever retrieved it from the table before someone else got it. When we finally returned I had no patience left. The restaurant was almost closed and the staff had changed over. The woman working refused to get the manager and said they would have to charge me for that. After asking several times and her continuing to ignore me I shouted very loudly to the air “I need a manager!”  One came and I tried to begin the story. I said, “I was here earlier and I ordered a pizza” she said “si, cons Dana”. Yes, I continued with getting stuck with the driver for 2 hours and all the things that happened. I said I want my wallet, I want my pizza, and I want it on the house. I didn’t want to get the driver in trouble. I still liked him.

Kelly A was also in my dream. I confronted her about blocking me on Facebook. I kept trying to soften her. It was the first time I saw her give a little. It made me hopeful.

Ace of Cups

If you poured yourself in a cup
I would drink you up like
A smooth sumatra blend
Like exotic Hawaiian Kona that
I’d have to refill
again and again and again

If you poured yourself in a cup
Some cool tall smoothie
I would suck you, swallow you
The straw discarded
So to smother my lips
With your juice and berries
So to drench my tongue
With everything that you are
Every molecule of you
I could ingest
My stomach rumbling
Digesting some and wanting more
While you move through me
So so beautifully

If you pured yourself
Didn’t let fear interfere
I’d be here
Drinking you
Gulping you
Thinking you
Giving you
In a glass full of this
Succulent ass

We are already
The perfect swirl
Of soft hardness
Of dirty purity
Of atoms in the eve
Charged ecstatic electrons

We are past life reunited
Long missing then
Found and bound like wrists tied tight
Might I sight last night
For your reference, dearest
When we breathed each other
Exploded into a billion pieces
Floated into a million universes
Loaded countless lifetimes into our cells
And came home finally
To our arms
Interwoven and locked like
I will never let you die again
Without me

There is a cup on the counter
Drink me, love
Swallow me whole


I think of you every time I see 

A Hepatitis C commercial

It’s not because you have it

It’s because you think you have it

Every time you’re overtired 

You’re really adorable 

For a hypochondriac though

You giggle and you know 

You’re being ridiculous

At least you seem to know

After you’ve become rested

My mother’s hypochondria isn’t cute 

Especially when she lied about 

Having a brain tumor 

Because she was mad at me 

I don’t know why she was mad

Maybe because I “made her fat” 

When she was pregnant with me

She told me that once

It was hard to forget 

She forgot about her brain tumor though

When I checked in about it

A few months later

A concerned daughter

And she got mad at me again

For making up lies

And intentionally hurting her

Even though I have her tumor in a text

The commercial is over now

I’m not ever going to have kids 

I don’t want to get fat 


she was drawing a field with flowers and a stream. she thought it was real. then her teacher came up to her as she was coloring the grass green. she had been filling in the space, back and forth, methodically, attempting to cover any white paper that was peeping through. the teacher said, “does grass grow sideways?” Then, she learned to see.

Non-Profit Prophet

I am a non-profit prophet because I sort-of get it

I’m no sage

… but …

I do know that life is meaningless if

You’re obsessed with matching sets of silverware

Cultivating your nails and hair

And never spend time with your SOUL

I wonder how many people know about the lunar eclipse tonight

The clouds try to keep it out of sight but

I see through them

I zoom into them and float in the memory of the former me

The Sun & Moon become one and my ego becomes undone

I AM the starlight

The flame ignited

The right versus wrong

I am strong now

I remember my first Pow-Wow a few hundred years ago

Under the glow of this very moon

Except it was noon and as soon as the ceremony was over

I bent and saw a clover which breathed me in and released me as Oxygen

I went into the lungs of ALL men and women and for a moment

The world inhaled in unison

There was a Hushhhhhh

On the Planet

When they exhaled

It was this very moment

With the Lunar Eclipse

Kisses on the lips of lovers

Darkness under covers

A hummingbird hovers honeysuckle and time buckles, unnoticed

As a crest crashes in the sea

The former me joins the presiding we and we are the Essence

The past becoming the present becoming the future

While I try to nurture Collective Memory and

Soothe the wounds of denial

Filter through the forgotten file looking for the wings of man

The “I can” attitude, the cure for rude behavior

The savior within the self

I thought I saw forgiveness on this shelf but it seems to be missing

Where did all this greed come from?

When I was young I often spoke of speaking to the sun

I said that’s where my ideas came from

So my Aunt Dot said to me “you must’ve been born here 9 times already”

It flew over my head or

I took it for granted and then

Forgot it for a while until I saw it in her smile right before she left this planet

So while I’m still here I’ll try to outsmart fear

I will not fear being different if it makes me Grow

I encourage you to do the same

Take aim to remain within the realm of intense Adoration

Of every good willed motivation

Of the lasting vibration of eternal breath and the loving of YOU

You are WE, all woven together in the superstring

Which is why you feel me when I sing and

The song crosses oceans and causes motion which makes someone, somewhere,

Hum, or drum, or

Thumb through the pages of

The Forgotten File


Let Your Soul Breathe {revised}

When I try to analyze the lives of those around me

I see a strong, independent, community

When I look out to my Nation

I see much more frustration & miscommunication

I see stagnation and a lack of cooperation

The Sacrifice of Will for an insatiable dollar bill

Is there a lesson?


This problem in society

This prim attitude of living for the proverbial me

Will sink skin deep and goad into a more painful inevitability

Or, so it often seems, though my dreams predict a better aftermath

Still an aftermath, indeed

I live for the dream and what it’s worth

I live for Mother Earth

To bring back the balance

So I dance to real music and beats

Not the mainstream daydream that churns money for thieves

People! Wake Up!

Release your crutches from your clutches!

Not much can be done when you’ve gone from suckin’ your thumb

To suckin’ on some Hennessey

Seek clarity!

You don’t impress me ‘cause you’re blingin’

I want someone who’s bringing Consciousness


Something to Inspire me

A gas guzzling SUV doesn’t make you tougher or smarter when you

Barter your soul every time you roll out your driveway

Picket fences do not make everything ok!

That Soda in your hand is swelling your glands

Not to mention hypertension and diabetes running rampant in this land

And skin plagued with cancer for the vanity of tan

Darker skin desired yet racism hasn’t retired

Our disease is a fast food invention and one of convenience

Eat a veggie

Ride a bike

You might like yourself better if you could see clearly

But with the side effects of prescription drugs, fast food, & money

Our mental health as a nation got dropped at the last station stop

Stop! Put the burger down!

My community is strong but it won’t be long until McDonald’s marches over

Walmarts and Range Rovers maneuver their way in and we’ll be running again

WE of nomadic notion, born of Ocean and Earth, continual rebirth

While vultures of material thieve for a serial number

And mass produced goods, living according to shoulds:

Gotta be a lawyer, make that cheddar, so everything will be better

Create your Fate with no debate about the gate to happiness

It is not found in Gucci or Guess

And Stress is a by-product of poor decision


And living by someone else’s standards

Let Your Soul Breathe


Her dear heart is still a bit broken
Lost naïveté a reminiscent token
Of when backstabbers weren’t so prevalent
Of when people said what they actually meant
Living en garde isn’t what she cares to do
She’d rather believe that all are true
Sadly that’s not the world we live in today
Too many lost, self-absorbed people in the way
Jump the hurdle don’t give in
There’s nothing worse than being like them

A Search For Solace

I’m trying to solicit solace

Facilitate a flawless way of being

But the motions are weening and wavering

Fluttering like the wings of beija-flor

Flower kisser


I try to listen to the word of goddess

But I’m restless in my distress of being a perfectionist

My expectations are high so I lean on my relentless drive but

Nobody seems to see it so I try to sit quiet

And let my ancestors lessons filter into me

& so I keep having these dreams of a serene state

where I contemplate everything and begin seeing it is nothing

No. Thing.

But then I wake in this body in this bed in this house in this city and I am

Surrounded by things

Why can I breathe under water and turn staffs into snakes only while sleeping?

I want to wake with my power, bring it to work with me

Ride my totem wolf down the city streets but the beat sleeps in my bed

and waits for me to slumber again

I try to reproduce it with my pen but it dissipates

Throughout the day my spirit mates with with ideas

Flirts with the fantasy of truth

And youth leaves minute by minute…

How can I balance?

Coexist with cars and computers – that hummmm-

Electrical and maniacal turning people and the botanical planet into cement moment after moment

This dent in consciousness has to be banged out – override the doubt

Now how might we go about that?

Perhaps looking at the moon and not being afraid to howl

Perhaps watching the formations of birds and joining them

Yes join them you have wings

Those things that itch beneath your skin

They’re masked by terms like freedom

A beautiful term don’t get me wrong but

When’s the last time you found yourself belting a song walking down the street

Not afraid of embarrassment making a beat on a newspaper stand

Or just lived completely and fervently from the rhythm of your soul

When’s the last time you let yourself lose control & found gratitude in chaos.

It may appease us as a mass western culture to leave our dreams in bed but look around

we are becoming the walking dead led by the dollar & material possessions

Stressin’ because we don’t have enough

What we lack in actuality is community

ADD culture brought to you by streamlined ads and annual fads that are

born dead still born but you can still be born anew

That’s why im talking to you so we can get it together

Lets dialogue then dance and make ourselves better

Healing is a thought away

Love is a choice

Now please join me while I OM


Everything happens for a reason

So shut up and listen

If you don’t heed your heart

The universe will start dissin’

I love you still

Even that filthy liar

Nothing gona come of this

Except that I rise higher

I swallow your hate

With dignity and grace

I will not relate

To your immoral disgrace

A door closes, another open

The truth revealed

The lesson a token

Shut up and listen

Don’t forget

A life self-designed

Is never a threat

Speed Skating

Sometimes I wonder if I still have a concussion from when I fell at the playground. There was that super steep hill that I kept roller skating down, tucked like an Olympic skier. As I approached, I’d stretch and grab the pull up bar at the edge of the jungle gym, whipping up in the air so fast that my skates almost flipped me clear over the bar. Trudge up the hill, fly down, trudge, fly, over and over, taking in the rush, accomplishing this great feat and getting nearly as high from the adrenaline as mom did from speed.

I mastered this movement. I spent weeks working on my form. I thought that if I went fast enough, I could get a full revolution around that bar. My biggest concern was kicking myself in the face with that big rubber stop bulging out of the toe of my skate. I always saw it coming at me, and then my momentum would reverse and my feet would fall back towards Earth. I knew it was my fear that stopped me from going all the way so I tried to advance myself, “Don’t be afraid! It will be worth it!”

After many failures to complete this challenge, I lost my chance to see if I’d kick my own teeth out. The last time down the hill, I reached for the bar that practically had my fingerprints embedded into it, and slapped it. Slapped! My grab didn’t hold, but making contact with my fingertips for that nanosecond was enough to throw me flat on my back, thrusting my skull against the ground. I was almost certain that my head had actually gone through the ground, took a glimpse at China, propelled back towards my neck, and rapidly resealed the ground with all that inertia.

I managed a zombie styled walk/skate home, sobbing and throbbing, until I passed some jerks who started making fun of me for crying. I straightened up and pretended I was suddenly fine. It was dizzying trying to contain all the swirling in my bruised head but I was used to toughing it out. None of those brats knew what I was going through, all alone, less than a decade old, the only responsible person in my household. I had to be strong or perish, survival of the fittest.